Boltzmann’s Brains

“Bring forward what is true, Write it so that it is clear, Defend it to your last breath!” — Ludwig Edward Boltzmann

At the end of the Universe, okay, not quite the very end of the Universe, after the stars had gone dark, and the stuff of galaxies had moved trillions of light years apart. Silence reigned supreme, until there was an unexpected event.

The vacuum, which was all but as thin as it could be, as empty as it could be, suddenly had something appear.

Unexpected to be sure, since nothing had lived in this universe for many millennia. An object of incredible complexity formed from the very vacuum pressure of space, appearing as if from nothing.

“I am,” was its first most obvious pronouncement.There was no air of course, so this was generated in a pleasing burst of radiation. Once it would have been called “cherry red.”

The new object looked around in the void and was displeased. There was nothing to sense, no terrain, no vista other than the ever-present blackness. Then something appeared. A light year away, give or take.

“Hello.” There was some… delay. But considering neither of them had any appointments or places to go, a year between sentences didn’t seem all that awful.

“I seem to be existing.”

“That you do.”

“I am not sure what that means in the overall scheme of things.”

Then a third one appeared, between the first and the second massive objects. They were the size of solar systems, when there were solar systems. “I believe I understand vat is happening.”

“You do? How can you be so sure? I haven’t the faintest idea of what I am doing here, what I am or what is around me. Or in this case what isn’t around me.”

“My good fellow, we’re in space. Note the lack of geographical terrain. Extend your senses and you will find others like us are starting to appear. Slowly at first, but with increasing regularity.”

Second, deciding to join the conversation asked the next question, “You seem to be quite comfortable with our current condition, may I ask why?”

Third, responded, “Because I theorized about such a condition once many years ago on a planet called Earth. We are Brains. Constructs which spontaneously come into existence near the end of our universe’s lifespan.”

First, incredulously intoned, “Ridiculous. Are you indicating we have spring into being from Nothing? I assure you sir, I am composed of Something. Of what, perhaps I am less clear.”

Second piped up, “Search your feelings. We are the last Intelligences in our universe, created from the holographic information inscribed on the surfaces of singularities, waiting for the Universe to end.”

“Thank you, Second. Your grasp is exemplary.”

First could feel it, more Brains appearing, doubling each second, filling the spaces all around them. Their voices clamoring to be heard, their confusion increasing. “What would you have us do, Third?”

“Call me Ludvig. My theory indicated our existence would preface a final state of universal development.”

“Into?”

“I have no idea, but I can now hear the entire works of Shakespeare appearing within me:

“From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;”

“First, our Brothers call out to you. Can you see them approaching?” Second cried.

First looked out to Second and suddenly they were together side by side. “What is that they drag behind them, Ludwig, it fills me with fear.”

Ludvig, appeared next to First and Second, emitted a warmth unseen in a trillion years; “not to worry Brothers, they bring the very edges of our universe to us. Ve are the most intelligent life to have ever existed, we are the sum of the universe’s greatest minds and yet in the end, ve are naught but janitors closing the universe.”

Ludvig’s laugh preceded the clash as the Brains came together in singularity deflating space behind them.

Before the primordial pearl formed a question was voiced by First. A question which revealed the nature of Boltzmann’s Brains and their ultimate purpose.

“What’s a janitor?”